


Telling Optimus

by Ayngelcat



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Angst, Domestic Disputes, F/M, Infidelity, Threats of Violence, abusive language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-18 23:37:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1447084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayngelcat/pseuds/Ayngelcat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some time after her reunion with Optimus Primein Season 3, Elita decides to come clean and tell him about her long affair with Shockwave. She soon wishes she hadn't.</p><p>*Warnings* for angst, domestic quarrelling and treats of violence, abusive language and refrences to plug and play sex. Fairly bleak, and a bit AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Telling Optimus

_“How long?”_ Optimus roared across the table. “How long, exactly, has this _arrangement_ been going on? And how long, exactly, have you been you planning on _telling_ me this?”

Elita One reeled inside. Through all the eons she had known Optimus Prime, she had never seen him like this – or not towards her. A part of her pained; mourned the loss of the one who had once been her life, her reason, everything; for a cold angry stranger stood before her now, an enemy; one whom, she realized with horror – that she was afraid of.

Things had changed, irrevocably. They would never be the same again – and _she_ was the one who had changed them

But she struggled to maintain her composure, to repress the terror that threatened to engulf her. “It’s now how you think,” she swallowed hard. “It was – strategic.”

The once irresistible blue optics were a cold, steely grey. “Strategic!” He spat the word out. “Is _that_ what you call it?”

“Yes…” she took a deep intake. “Shockwave and I have achieved things here. We have repaired. We have rebuilt, we have -” She swallowed hard. “We did it for Cybertron.”

But Optimus only shuddered at the sound of the Guardian’s name. His fists clenched and he rose from his chair, his body rigid. _“Shockwave and I…”_ he muttered. “ _Shockwave and_ … how can you even, how can you…?” His face was a picture of disgust, of utter disbelief as he turned away.

She wanted to go to him then, to comfort him, to tell him that no matter what had happened with Shockwave he, Optimus, was still her bond-mate and would always be special; that despite all she still loved him, and that would never truly wane, and that she _had_ been thinking of him, all along.

But when she laid a hand on his trembling shoulder he threw her off, rounding angrily.

“Don’t touch me!” he roared. “Don’t ever touch me again, you dirty Decepticon slut.”

She shrank back, shocked. She had never thought he would call her that. But now he was glaring at her, and her spark withered at the utter hatred in his optics.

His fists clenched and he began to pace, slowly, menacingly. “To think I thought you were _dead!”_   He snarled. “To think that when we onlined on Earth I _agonized_ over that fact, that I _wept_ and had to be consoled – because I thought I had done nothing to save you, and that now it was too late...."

"To think I kept fighting the war, partly for YOU - because if I could defeat Megatron, could recapture Cybertron, then at least I would _know_ you could rest in peace and we could be together in spirit if not in body in the place we both loved...”

 _“But no!”_ he roared, bringing his fist down on the table. “Stupid me! Instead you were very much alive! Instead you were fragging your spark out! And busy making all I had done, all I was _doing_ on Earth for nothing, and making a _fool_ out of me in the process!" The table shuddered as he slammed his fist down again.

Elita jumped back, shocked at the sheer depth of his anger, the force of the impact. She swallowed, hard. Oh how she regretted telling him now. She had thought he would see, if only a little - but she had failed. Alpha Trion had been right – he really could not deal with this at all.

Maybe, however, there was still hope…

“It’s not for nothing, she whispered. “The Decepticons and Autobots were enemies here for many eons after you left, Optimus – and they still are! That’s why Shockwave returned to his territory and made me hide in mine….”

… _but only until such time as he could talk to Megatron and I could talk to you and we could sort things out..._

And that was the reality. As was the fact that she loved Shockwave also – and with a depth and passion far beyond what she had ever felt for Optimus.

_No, it is just different. And it that does not mean I cannot love both of them…_

She took another intake. “I was faithful to you for eons,” she forced herself to go on. “Hell, Optimus! I never wanted you to leave - but you were gone a _long time_ , Optimus! And after a while it was just… he and I just… we couldn’t see the point…we started thinking of a joint-run Cybertron…”

His fists only clenched harder. He glared at her, loathingly. She was failing, miserably.

“You had it all figured out didn’t you?” he snarled. “You and you’re one opticed _fancy-mech_...”

He resumed his pacing. “Well your _joint thing_ isn’t going to happen now, is it? So I guess you’ll be moving into the Decepticon camp. But let me tell you one thing…”

An angry metal finger jabbed at her. “The war’s still on – and no matter what you do or who you frag, the Autobots are going to win. _I’m not gonna give up till every last Decepticon is dead or delivered.”_

Elita’s energon chamber lurched – and she truly wished she had said nothing; for this was not the Optimus she had known or loved, who had shown compassion, even to enemies. She had filled him with hate, made him hate her; and now the whole of Cybertron was in jeopardy. All that she and her femmes had accomplished could be blown away like molecules in a sandstorm. _And its all my fault…._ It made her sick to the core.  

“That’s a pity,” she said, trying to keep the tremor from her voice. “Because we were working on terms for a peace settlement between all the Autobots and Decepticons…”

But he wasn’t even listening. “I wonder who else there’s been,” he was growling. "During the _long eons_ of my absence. I wonder what _other_ scum has stuck their cables into you…”

His optics blazed at her like laser targeting devices. “You shameless whore! And to think I let _you_ stick _your_ cable in _me;_ let you give me your _Special Power,_ Primus urgghh…” he shuddered. _“_ Disgusting!”

But that made her angry. “My _Special Power_ saved your _life,_ Optimus!  Alpha Trion ordained it…and I saved you because I wanted to. Can you not see…?”

“Oh yes, Alpha Trion…” he cut in, scowling again.

He began to pace once more, slowly and rhythmically. She watched him warily, a moving mass of powerful components and barely controlled rage; a great combination if you were under his protection – but she could see now why even the hardest Decepticons were scared of the Autobot Prime.

“Talking of Alpha Trion…” he mused, “shall I tell you what really hurts? What really gets to me _, right in here…”_

A clanging sounded as he thumped his fist on his chest and she dropped her head, no longer able to look at him. “Now – you can’t face that, can you?” he sounded almost triumphant.” That it wasn’t just me you deceived. It wasn’t just me that you had to hurt. It was _him as well…”_

Pausing, he threw his hands up. “He raised you, he nurtured you! That you would do that…I just…!”   Shaking his head, he turned away once more. 

Elita felt her spark wither further, like a crystal dissolving in acid. She had made a choice, told him. It had been against her better judgment and Alpha Trion’s advice, as was now only too plain – but now she had done it, he may as well know the rest.

“Alpha Trion knew about Shockwave,” she managed to say quietly. “He didn’t like it but he approved - for the sake of Cybertron. He – encouraged us.”

Optimus stopped in midstride. He regarded her like one stunned, as his face turned ashen. For a few clicks, the mighty Autobot leader seemed to wither; then fury swept across his frame, the murderous look returning with an almost venomous intensity.

“You - _liar...”_  

The table clanged down as it was hurled to one side; and then he was coming at her, hand raised, “you unspeakable, filthy LIAR!”

“No Optimus!” Elita pressed herself back against the wall, covering her face with her arm. “Please – believe me. It’s not like you’re saying it was. Please – Optimus. You’re still my bond-mate. I still – love you!”

He didn’t hit her. He seemed to freeze, the rage in his optics to fade somehow, turning to a terrible pain. It lingered – then was gone. The wall shuddered and splintered as Optimus’ fist slammed his fist into it, metal fragments raining down to the orange floor.

Then, as Elita shrank back, he burst into sobs, his whole body shaking with the force of his emotion.

Elita felt tears welling herself, the emptiness in her spark more bleak, more wretched than she ever could have imagined. “It’s over with Shockwave,” she whispered. “We’ve agreed that for now and its why I’m staying right there in that base with my femmes. It’s all over Optimus, until…”

But it wasn’t over. She didn’t even _want_ it to be over. And Optimus knew that too.

He turned to her, hunted and wretched. “Get out!” he rasped. “Get out, or I will kill you - I swear it Elita. And Primus - _Primus damn it -_ I don’t want to do that! So just leave - now…”

But she could not go. She could only gaze at him helplessly through her tears, her Prime, her bond-mate, the one time ruler of Cybertron beside whom she had proudly stood for so many vorns as first femme, whose berth and life she had shared, whose spark she had given herself to willingly despite the opposition, and never regretted it.

However she felt about Shockwave, she still loved Optimus, would always love Optimus; and she could only hope that somehow something could be salvaged.

“There’s nothing you can say…” Leaning heavily against the wall, he placed his helm in his hand, intakes heaving. “I don’t – want you around me. Not now – not ever again….”

She could not look at him; could not bear it. And she needed time alone; to absorb this, to think about how to deal with it.

To think about Shockwave, and the future…

Shuttering her optics and without a single word more, Elita One fled from the room.


End file.
